How to create bond with children as step-Parent

November 28, 2021

When the remarriage involves children from former marriages, step parents takes time for adjustment or to become part of family. Do you know that stepping in as a step-parent affects the nature of the relationship between you and the other family members? You or your kids mix with another new family, with your past. It takes years to build the bond between stepparent and stepchild. Children also did not allow easily a stepparent to enter into their family, and it can be a struggle for them to persuade children that they are not here to make their lives complicated.

Many children feel overwhelmed as their parents remarry, fearing that they are somehow betraying their birth parents’ affection by getting closer to the newest family member. No doubt, it takes time to build a step-family. Two families with their own set of rituals, rules, and boundaries will definitely face certain issues. But while the problems can be difficult, they can be ironed out with hard work, adjustments, and little flexibility.

Stepparents need to understand these points before starting a new family

  • They need to recognize differences, personal and family setbacks of their new family.
  • They need to Promote and strengthen new partnerships between parents, stepparents, and stepchildren by supporting each other.
  • They need to preserve and foster authentic relationships.

Regardless of the situation, divorce is a kind of trauma. Hurt emotions and broken expectations are still present. Trust is damaged, and it takes time to develop something new. Slowly and patiently step on. Some children can take longer to warm up, depending on the situation. Create trust by following your word. Sit down and be frank with the little ones who want to create a house with faith and harmony.

Relation between stepsiblings

Mental, emotional, and physical complicatedness can create obstacles for children who are stepsiblings or half-siblings living in mixed families. Before new relational ties are established, there is a forced relationship for children. Step-siblings are often pushed to play new relationship role before any mutual connection is established. An older child may have a young half-sibling, but may not be emotionally able to connect with him.

Parents and stepparents should work together to foster unity within their families. The trick is to speak to your kids before the start of a relationship. Then it will be easier for children and teenagers to respond to transition because they know what to expect. Otherwise, children will believe that they are living in an unstable, uncertain environment where any change can occur. When the rules, values, and rights are apparent in the home and are part of the family, discipline for both parents and children is more efficient, predictable, and simpler to follow.

Step-parenting (A Second Family)

A stepfamily provides a new opportunity for marriage and family life, but it’s also an initiative to bring many new people together. Latest research conduct by Ed. D., member of the National Stepfamily Resource Centre’s Advisory Board and author on Surviving and Flourishing in Stepfamily Relationship, show, “A stepfamily is a radically different framework which offers an alternate base for relationships than a first family. One of these variations is that the partners do not have an equal relationship with children in a stepfamily. This dynamic creates boundaries that stepparents are not advised to cross.

For example, if you have never had children, you will share your life with a younger person and will help to develop their character. If you will have your own children, they will form relationships and provide a special connection that only siblings can have in new marriage. Figuring out how you will play your role as a parent, apart from your everyday duties, can also lead to misunderstanding or even tension between you and your partner, partner-ex, and children. It’s a difficult job to play.

What is Step Parenting?

According to the Family Law Act 1975, you come under the category of step-parent if you:

  • Are not a child’s biological parent.
  • Are married to one of the maternal parents of the child.
  • Treat the child as a family member, or do so when you are together with the biological parent.

We all have a fixed picture of the evil Stepmother and the evil Stepsisters from the Cinderella fairytale. Fortunately, most family conditions are not bad. However, the explanation for the disgrace attached to this relation (stepparents) is not as “evil” as it might sound. But much more, it is about misunderstandings and preconceived ideas.

Step-parenting is a confusing and daunting task: often tougher than a real parent’s role. “I always feel like I have liability, but a jurisdiction,” says Paula, three pre-teen boys’ stepmother. “I can get them to practice hockey, bake their cookies, make them a laundry, cook their meals, but they come back with ‘You’re not my mum,’ if I’m trying to punish them – you can’t tell me what to do! It just makes me nuts! If you marry someone with children of a previous connection, it is important not to misinterpret your stepparent position as a natural parent’s position.

It is also necessary to acknowledge that your spouse’s children will be an integral part of your life and vice versa, whether they like it or not. Meanwhile, the biological parent should understand that the adjustment for the next stage parent is complex and complicated. If you are a signal parent or starting a new relationship, do share your thoughts about problems that you faced in life.

Thank you